Your Clothes Matter More in Midlife
When I first started working 100% from home, I celebrated a life of soft pants and slippers! Know what I mean? 😊 I still do that sometimes. But along the way, I learned something that surprised me: the way I’m dressed affects the way I think about myself, my work, and even my purpose and value.
Here’s the thing. When our bodies change in midlife, a lot of us quietly give up on getting stylishly dressed. We grab the oversized sweatshirt or the stretchy pants and tell ourselves it doesn’t matter.
But it does matter, because how we feel about the way we look affects how we show up everywhere else.
Here are three mindset shifts that changed how I think about getting dressed in midlife.
1. Style isn’t about dressing up
One of the most valuable things I learned from my podcast guest Jennifer Mackey-Mary on episode 87 was that I could look for clothes that are comfortable AND stylish.
It was as if I’d been brainwashed to think those two things couldn’t go together. Comfortable meant frumpy. Stylish meant pinching, squeezing, and counting the minutes until I could change.
Not true! Now I think about shopping and putting outfits together very differently. Style isn’t about dressing up for a big event. It’s about choosing clothes on an ordinary Tuesday that feel good on your body and make you feel good about yourself.
2. Your clothes send a signal to your brain
If you put on clothes that you believe look sloppy, slouchy or unprofessional, your brain sees and hears that message, and it shapes your thoughts and behaviors. If you put on clothes that make you look and feel good, your brain gets that message too.
Researchers have a name for this: enclothed cognition. In one well-known study, people who wore a white coat they were told was a doctor’s lab coat did better on attention tasks than people who didn’t wear it. Same people, same brains, different clothes. Amazing.
Try this: When you get dressed in the morning, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” Confident? Calm? Creative? Ready to lead a meeting? Then choose your clothes accordingly.
3. Start with mindset, not shopping
Before you buy a single new thing, decide on three words that describe how you want to look and feel. Some examples:
- Friendly
- Approachable
- Sophisticated
- Powerful
- Dramatic
- Fun
- Relaxed
- Polished
Then let those three words guide you, both in your own closet and when you shop. Ask: Does this item make me look and feel the way my words describe?
If yes, great. If no, it’s out.
This one simple filter saves money, clears closet clutter, and helps you stop buying things “for someday” that never feel quite right.
Your challenge this week
If the weather is getting cooler where you live, pull out your sweaters and wear them in a way that’s comfy AND stylish. Pair your softest sweater with a great pair of earrings, a favorite scarf or boots that make you smile.
Both can be true. 😊
Listen in for more
Want to go deeper? These Mind Your Midlife podcast episodes are a great place to start:
- 🎧 Episode 87: The Mindset of Style and How to Like the Way You Look, with Jennifer Mackey-Mary
- 🎧 Episode 27: The Surprising Link Between What You Wear and How You Show Up in Midlife
- 🎧 If this stirs up some feelings about your body: Episode 57: Real Talk About Your Midlife Body Image
Quick FAQ
Can clothes really be comfortable and stylish at the same time? Yes! Comfort and style aren’t opposites. Look for soft fabrics in flattering cuts, pieces that fit the body you have today, and one or two details (color, texture, accessories) that make an outfit feel intentional.
Why does what I wear affect my confidence? Your clothes send a message to your brain about who you are and how you expect to show up. Researchers call this enclothed cognition. When you wear clothes that make you feel good, you tend to think and act with more confidence.
What’s a simple way to find my style after 40? Start with three words that describe how you want to look and feel. Use them as a filter for everything in your closet and everything you consider buying.
Take a little bit better care of yourself in midlife.
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